Well, first thing we did today was a puzzle. Big L and I did most of it together, but Lena helped a bit. I haven’t done puzzles in years, but I’m finding them so relaxing.

Then the mail came. My mom recently read the book Infinitely More by Alex Krutov. It is SO worth the read if you haven’t already. He grew up in the orphanage system of St. Petersburg. He talks about visiting the US and how difficult it was to see his host mom throw away mail, even junk mail, because he’d never gotten mail for himself.

My mom made sure that Big L got her own mail.

And, I decided to post on Facebook asking for people to send cards. A simple card just to say “hello!” or share a favorite Bible verse.  The response has been wonderful and I’m so excited to see her reaction. I cannot wait for her to begin to realize that so many people care about her.

In the afternoon, we went on a crazy shopping adventure. I needed to return something to a store and we needed to grab a few essentials for Big L. Lena tagged along and it was a fun little girls’ shopping trip. We also picked up Big L’s glasses. She refuses to wear them. If anyone has any great tips on encouraging a preteen to wear glasses, please let me know.

Big L is really silly and does ridiculous stuff like this when we go shopping.

In the evening, we went to the pool with my sister and her family. Everyone got to spend time with their cousins. 10 kids and they all play together pretty well, especially with the pool involved. Everyone had a blast.

Out of focus, but oh well. Cousins holding hands and jumping into the pool together.

Gus and Big L. I love how he says her name. The L turns into a W and it’s simply adorable. She is wonderful with him– picking him up when he’s upset and I am busy, helping him with his clothes, tickling him, unbuckling his seat when it’s time to get out of the car, etc. He was the last to accept her, being a bit uncertain about having another person around, but he loves her now.

That’s our Saturday. Full and fun.

Big L finished this huge puzzle today. 

She loves dogs. Which is good. ‘Cause, you know, we have dogs.

This is my sister’s dog.

I’m not sure if Lena is Leif’s biking coach or if Leif is Lena’s running coach.

I got the kids sunglasses awhile ago for 99 cents at Children’s Place. I finally remembered to give Big L hers and they’re a big hit. They also perfectly match her swimsuit.

She asked me to help her download some music today. She spent the evening listening to it. I was going to ask her to help with dinner, but she was really enjoying listening to it. After so much English for the past week, I’m sure it’s nice to listen to something familiar.

This happened. Magically. I only had to bribe one of them. My bribe was a reminder that it was…

Movie night, of course!

Today also marked one week down. In a way, it’s hard to believe it’s only been one week. 8.5 weeks left.

Today was a lot better than yesterday.

We started this puzzle. Reed and Lena really wanted to help…

Big L suddenly turned super camera shy. She and my nephew were playing a camera of avoiding the camera. But, she told me that she doesn’t like how she looks in photographs.

We talked for awhile tonight via Google Translate. I told her that she needs to let me take her photo, so I can make her a photo album. I told her that I want lots of photos of her because I will miss her when she has to go back. We also talked a little bit about our beliefs and I told her how I believe that God made her and that’s she is beautiful because God made her. She told me that she does not believe in God, yet she seemed to like the idea that she is beautiful because she is created by God.

I also took about 500 selfies and and let her take 500 more ridiculous photos. I made the least flattering faces and she was just laughing and laughing. I was going to share some, but they’re on my phone, and I’m too tired to get them…

After all this, she seemed to believe me. She was back to smiling for me, instead of dodging the camera. It’s something that I really want her to get, not so that I can take pictures, but because I think it’s so ingrained in her sense of self that she is not beautiful. And she’s at such an impressionable age for her body image. We talk about a lot of things– how good she is at cards or knitting or making bracelets. How helpful she is. How she has strong muscles. All of that she will believe, but she yells “NO!” if I tell her she is beautiful. I look forward to talking with her more about it later. I really hope to build up her confidence in herself this summer, not physical beauty, but to really know that she is priceless.

She let me take this cute picture of her with Reed.

Then she turned full on adorable silly for me.

I think she’s adorable and I’m glad she’s sharing more and more of herself with me. After all of our talking and silly picture taking, she shared some Russian music with me and asked me to download it and play it for her. Of course. I’m glad to be getting to know her better.

I am so tired as I am writing this. Today was a long day. It was just a “straw that broke the camel’s back” kind of stress situation, between work and parenting and general life. A lot of small things adding up.

We continue to learn more about Big L. Her favorite color is red.

We’re quite certain that she understands more English than she lets on. She sometimes sits next to me and reads everything I am typing. She often reads words in when we are in stores. Her pronunciation usually decent, too. I’m not sure if it’s fear or a lack of understanding about how to use words conversationally, but she rarely talks in English beyond a few phrases. “WHATA!?”, “I love you”, “Thank you” and “You’re welcome”. It will come.

I remind myself to treat her like she is younger, or at least offer to treat her like I do with my younger kids. I offered to cut her food up one day. It’s a silly little thing, but I want her to know that if she wants to be mothered in that way, it’s okay. Today she asked me to put sunscreen on her face. Even Reed and Lena (mostly) do their own, I did put it on for her. This really isn’t a time for shoving her out of the nest and telling her to grow up. It’s a time for building the nest up around her. To let her know that it’s okay to stay and soak up all that she feels like she might have missed out on.

We continue the tradition of opening a link each night and rubbing her feet with “Peace and Calming”. In fact, each of my kids get some “Peace and Calming” on their feet with a gentle foot rub. It’s become a time for us to connect, no matter how we clashed during the day.

Tonight, she discovered that I had written “I love you” in Ukrainian in the journal I bought for her. She hasn’t been interested in writing, so this is the first time she cracked it open. I think she was surprised and rather pleased that I attempted to write it in Ukrainian.

Tonight’s chain link that she opened was a bible verse, Proverbs 3:24. “If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”

For each of the Bible verses, she hands me the English/Russian parallel Bible I bought her, so that I can find the verse. Then, she reads it again and we use the link as a bookmark, to find it again later.

A Bible verse that has been particularly meaningful for me is Matthew 6:34: “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (the Message)

There is a natural inclination to worry– preteen orphan, stranger in our home. To know we’re in the honeymoon period and that certainly there will be hard moments in the next 9 weeks. But, all of that worry just gets in the way of loving her. This verse is a reminder to live in the moment and love her without waiting for her behavior to change or wondering how we might impact her life. Love her because she is here, in the present, and eager to be loved.

I’ve also been very convicted lately to ask WHO is behind my thoughts and feelings…

Have any inspiration you’d like to share? I’d love to hear it.