Tag Archives: Funnies

Search Engine Terms: Boy on a Rock, a Moose’s Birthday and Tomato Jokes

I look at my Site Stats from time to time and last week, I took a couple of minutes to look through the search engine terms that bring people to my blog. Oh my goodness. There are some really awesome ones. We hate to disappoint, so we figured that maybe we should start creating our blog content based off of these terms.

“Little Boy Sitting on Rock”

Take your pick. Please.


“What does a moose like for his birthday?”



What a great question! I’ve never been quite sure what to get my moose, so I asked my kids for advice.

Reed: A carrot.

Lena: Cake

Gus: Yogurt.

…additionally, there are 2 things to be noticed from this picture:

  1. Never trust a moose’s font choices.
  2. The only reason why this isn’t the Crappy Pictures Blog is because that was already taken.


“Faucet Tomato Joke” (or any variation)

Well, okay, I ACTUALLY blogged about this a couple of years ago, but I still thought it would be worth asking my kids for their best Faucet Tomato Joke.

Reed: What did the faucet do to the tomato? Answer: The faucet washes the tomato so that you can eat it.

Lena: What did the faucet do to the tomato? Answer: The tomato go inside and wash he’s hair.

Gus: Nos [the plural of no].

The real joke is: “What happened between in the race between the tomato, the faucet and lettuce?”
Answer: “The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running, the tomato couldn’t ketchup.”


Feeling enlightened? Still wondering where the answer to your question is? Tune in next week as we address issues such as “lost tooth on toilet” and “wht do you like your favorite toy”.

Conversations with Reed

Reed, aka Spiderman, with his mask.

My mom is visiting right now. She got us take out for dinner and Aaron and the big kids had burritos.

R: “Mmm, a chicken burrito. What kind of burrito do you have, papa?”

A: “Steak.”

R: “Oh no, steak! It’s like eating your whole body.”

I promise I had nothing to do with influencing his view of steak.

My mom asked Reed about his day at school. She asked if he had art today, and after he told her about it, I told him a story from when I had art class as a kindergartener. I thought the kids would enjoy hearing a story about when I was little AND about how I made a mistake. Of course they did.

Reed started lecturing me on how I could have handled the situation better. “You should have raised your hand… you should have…” I could have used his help navigating kindergarten.

After that, my mom asked him what he does when he needs to go to the bathroom at school. He explained that they just go at set times. Then, when she asked what if he really needs to go at a different time, he said “We don’t do such things.”

Later he asked me, “what is your mom’s name?” And I said “She (pointing to my mom) is my mom.” Then he said, “no, I mean, like, when you were in preschool, when you were tiny, what was your mom’s name?” And I told him she had always been my mom. “So, she’ll be your mom forever?” Yup.

A cute conversation, but also a reminder that when you’ve spent the first few years of your life shuffling around, the idea of mom isn’t so clear in your head.

Love this kid.

With his sword… he also makes swords himself.

I had to go to the health department to get a TB test to volunteer at Reed’s preschool. The clerk gave them a paper airplane. They are throwing it back and forth and Cache(pronounced like Cash) is laying right behind Lena. So, the airplane keeps hitting him. Whenever it hits him, she yells out with concern, “OH CATS! OH CATS!” Of course, I’m not even sure “Cats” has noticed that the airplane is hitting him. Now, it just hit our TV console, and she yelled “OH, MOVIE!”

She calls our dogs Cats (Cache), Nini(Nina), An-joe-de ( and Josie). Or sometimes Josie sounds like “Juicy”. She is getting evaluated for her speech this Thursday. While her speech can be funny (and yes, she can have a sense of humor about it too), it can also be VERY frustrating for all of us.

We did have another funny moment this week, when after did, she announced she wanted “straw-ies”.
Me: “Straw-ies?”
L: “No! Straw-IES!”
Me: “Straw-ies?”
L: “PAPA! Mama dun’t it-ten.”
Me: “What?”
R: “She SAID, ‘Mama doesn’t listen!”

And then sometimes her speech is dead-on and just as funny…

A couple weeks, we were out to eat. Both kids wanted chicken fingers and fries– can you tell they are Americanized? I always try to get them to eat their chicken before the fries. I told Lena to take a bite and held it up to her mouth.
L: (with a smile and said clearly) “I don’t need to take a bite.”

Aaron and I were talking about how she had gotten bigger.
A: “Do you want to be this tall? Like me? (motioning up to his height)
L: “No.”
A: “As tall as Mama?”
L: “Little bit taller. (Pinching her fingers to about an inch apart)
Me: “Hey, Lena. You need to be as tall as me or short.”
L ignores me.
Me: “You don’t get any bigger than me.”
L ignores me.
Me: “Don’t grow taller than me, you got it?”
L: “I can’t [not grow bigger than you].”

And here is a funny video of Reed…

Wacky Wednesday

I’ve decided I need to record everything Reed says because it’s so funny.

In the bathroom, after a nap and talking to Lena about what she wanted to eat for a snack:
Me: “Reed, do you want a snack? Like cheese or tomatoes?”
Me: “Do you need to go potty?”

Discussing movie time:
Me: “I think it’s Lena’s turn to pick out the movie.”
Me: “You really like it when she picks out the movies?”
R: “YES!”

At bedtime:
Me: “I love you.”
R: “Yes”
(me laughing)
R: (points at me) “YOU GOT IT!”

On a walk:
Me: “Um, Reed, that’s a worm.”