Tag Archives: hosting

Risk Taking, Hosting and A Matching Grant

October 12, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

Part One: Risk Taking

Sitting outside one afternoon, I talked with a friend while Gus climbed up on our fence, just about a foot off the ground. Thud. His bottom hit the ground.

A few tears, a hug and all was healed.

When I glanced over again, there he was up on the fence. Again. Why does he do that when he JUST got hurt? He’s just going to fall again, I thought.

But, I kept on watching him. Tiny feet stepping across the bar. He stretched his legs around corners.

I could see the risk was minimal, but for him, this was a difficult mountain peak and he was climbing without gear.

He didn’t fall again. This time, he called out to me, “Mama! I did it!” In his 3 year old brain, he made it to the summit.

Part Two: Hosting

The conversation I was having that afternoon was about hosting Big L again. Project 143 told us that we needed to decide if we were going to host her again, or if they should find her a different host family. I told my friend how I didn’t want to host. I didn’t want to open myself and my family up to more hurt. I didn’t want to get myself off the ground again and take the risk.

I had starting to feel peace in the uncertainty, not ready to make a decision about re-hosting or adoption. I wanted to begin the healing process, not rip the bandaid off again. But, we needed to decide.

I talked with those few people I know will offer me wisdom in the face of a huge decision. Questions like, “What does it mean if you don’t host her again?”; “How will you feel if… (insert any number of probable scenarios here)?” “If you don’t, do you think you might regret it?” And, support like, “You can do hard things.” and “I support you no matter what you decide.”

On that day, I hadn’t talked to Big L in over a week. She hadn’t been online and I hadn’t called her either. Our last few phone calls had been pretty forced. She would barely talk. But, I decided to try calling, before we made a decision about hosting.

Instead of listening to the phone ring and ring for a few minutes, I got a quick answer and a happy “Hi!” I was shocked and the only thing I could think to say was “I miss you.” “I miss you, too,” she replied, without hesitation. She asked me about our family and, as it was getting quite late here, I was the one who told her that I needed to go for a change.

I had been ready to give up, but that little conversation was the spark of hope. Maybe the girl we knew is still in there.

Aaron and I agreed after that: Saying “no” to hosting meant saying “no” to her forever. Saying “yes” to hosting meant one more chance.

I thought of all of the people who have been a constant presence and source of encouragement in my life, all of the people who have loved me when I made mistakes and given me second chances, all of the wonderful people who’ve had my back no matter what. The people who’ve showed up for me even when I haven’t deserved it or wanted it or had any inkling that I needed it. People like my own mom, my sisters, the friends who’ve loved me for years. The answer was clear. Give her another chance.

If there is one thing that I know about God, it’s that He loves us with a relentless love. A love that never gives up, a love that endures, a love that chases you and seeks to meet you wherever you’re at.

And if there’s one very most important thing that I believe is my responsibility as a follower of Jesus, it’s to be a reflection of that love. To do my very best to love people unconditionally. Even, especially, when it hurts. Here’s our chance to live that.

This isn’t about adoption. We’d still love to have her as a permanent part of our family, but even if this only gives us clarity on adoption and a few more weeks to pour love into her, that’s okay, too.

We can’t worry about the bigger picture right now. As Glennon Melton says, “just do the next right thing”. The next right thing is four more weeks.

Part Three: A Matching Grant!

We have about $3000 to raise in the next month to cover her hosting fees. A super generous friend offered us a $250 matching grant, but before I could even share this news here, I shared it on my personal Facebook page. As of right now, $320 has been donated, taking care of the matching grant! We still have over $2000 to go. Thank you to everyone who has donated and shared about our need.

Here is the link to donate. All donations are tax deductible.

…also know that Moose Prints will be returning soon and I’d love to squeeze some fall photo sessions in as well!

Photography, Project 365

365 Photos

October 6, 2014 Molly 2 Comments

My Project 365 is finished. One photo, each day for a year, done.

I am somewhere in the mix of proud and relieved. I’m great at starting things, but I struggle to finish them. So, this feels like an accomplishment.

A lot of people said, “How do you complete a Project 365?” Of course, the instructions are simple: take a photo every day. But, the challenge is actually doing it every day for a year. I know, because I’ve started it before and stopped just a few months in.

However, completing it this time, I came away with two big things that I think made it possible to keep this up every day:

I took my camera everywhere. It was pretty much always in my bag. In the few times that I didn’t have my camera, I used my phone. I have photos in McDonalds and Target and the doctor’s office and a whole lot from the school playground. I definitely got a few odd looks. I even had one woman who works at my kids’ school tell me that she wondered why I always had my camera with me, until she mentioned it to Lena’s teacher, who knew about my blog. There were definitely funny looks or eye rolls throughout the project as I toted my camera everywhere, but perhaps a little hidden benefit of the project is that you stop caring what people think of you after awhile. 🙂

I didn’t try to take the perfect photo every day. Most days, I just tried to be done! This sounds silly, but I think if you do something every day for a year, you’re bound to learn something, probably quite a bit of somethings. But, you’re not always going to get it perfect or get what you want. I got sick twice in my first few months of the Project 365, once with the stomach flu and once with strep. What I was able to accomplish either time wasn’t impressive, but I’m glad I kept going. I think that it would have been easy to give up on those days, but I probably would have missed dozens of photos in future day if I had given up.

Some of you might be wondering what the point of this sort of project is. For some people, it’s the act of documenting every day. That is part of it for me. But, the larger part is that I want to improve my photography skills and the best way to do that is by lots of practice. Committing to take a photo a day will naturally cause improvement.

I made two goals for myself this year.

Practice composition, particularly in candid shots
Focus on getting images right SOOC (straight out of camera)

Let’s talk about how I did with those goals.

Practice composition, particularly in candid shots

This is still a bit challenging for me, but I feel like I’ve made some improvements in this area in the last year. It feels like baby steps over huge strides. I think I’ve gotten a lot better about “chopping limbs”, meaning that I cut off a foot or hand when it should have been included. I still find slowing down long enough to really focus on composition to be a challenge. I’m also starting a mentorship with another photographer and this is something that we will work on.

Focus on getting images right SOOC (straight out of camera)

This is one area when I feel like I’ve improved a lot. I shoot entirely in manual mode, for the complete control over my settings. I’m spending a lot less time editing than I was a year ago, doing basic corrections. I think it’s still a bit of a challenge sometimes to change my settings fast enough if I’m chasing kids around, but I think that’s just because my kids move fast!

Here are some of my favorite photos from the past year. There are a ton and it was still hard to pick!

I love the way that these photos help me remember these moments. I also love how they remind me of what is important. Photography helps me see the beauty in moments I might have overlooked. 365 days of beautiful moments.

Everyday Life, Hosting

The Goodbye

August 31, 2014 Molly 1 Comment

I woke up the next morning, exhausted. I had stayed up a bit too late putting the finishing touches on Big L’s scrapbook. Tired, but worth it.

Again, we went over to my sister’s house. She had brunch for us. And then, everyone looked through Big L’s scrapbook, recalling all of the wonderful memories.

And, far too soon, it was time to say goodbye to my sister and her family.

Tears and hugs. My nephew, Owen, who is the same age as Big L said, “This is a solemn moment in our history. All good people must say goodbye.” Truth.

Bags were packed. 😦

Last Exit in Pennsylvania. NO! Can’t we just stay in Pennsylvania?

But, no, we had to go to the airport.

When we arrived, there were many other host families there already. Many of the kids seemed to be congregating and catching up on their summers. But, Big L stuck with me and my parents, beyond yelling a quick hello to some boys from her school. I was a bit clueless about how this whole thing worked, but once again, Big L showed her maturity by going up to the chaperone and requesting her passport, so we could wait in line to get her boarding pass. And, I had to smile when we were at the ticket counter, checking her in. The agent realized that she was not old enough to travel alone, as many of the kids weren’t. He had already checked many of the host kids in, but perhaps they were all old enough to travel alone. She’s not. So, he asked where the chaperone was. My mom went to grab the chaperone, and Big L whispered “she doesn’t speak English.” Uh oh. The chaperone was very confused, but Big L did a bit of translating for her and sorted things out. Clever girl, speaking more English than her chaperone, meanwhile telling us that she does not speak English. Yeah, sure.

With my parents.

They didn’t coordinate wearing KU colors to go with Big L’s KU shirt, but it’s quite fitting.

And, the goodbye.

Wow. It doesn’t seem so long since they walked through security for our hello, and then, they were gone. 😦

My mom kept saying, “she’s not the same girl we picked up at the airport.” No, no, she’s not. Remember her? That girl was brave, but this girl truly opened up and is so very loved. I just keep praying she remembers that.

Everyday Life, Hosting

The Last Full Day

August 30, 2014 Molly 2 Comments

I’m sharing about Big L’s last couple of days with us.

I got Big L up very early yesterday morning and Aaron took us to the airport. I hadn’t slept— I had stayed up, adding to her scrapbook and packing her bags.

A hug goodbye from Aaron, and there we were, waiting in the airport. To quote Big L, this was a “very very bad” day. We sat and listened to music together while we waited. We sung the English version of Hosanna in church a couple of weeks ago and she was really excited when I showed her that there was a Russian version as well. It’s become a favorite of hers.

First flight down and we grabbed donuts. Because, a “very very bad day” calls for donuts, right?

One more flight and my parents picked us up. We did a quick detour to Hamilton Park, which is just across the Hudson River from New York City. When we got out of the car, Big L yelled “Look!!!” and pointed to a woman doing sit-ups. Not too overwhelmed by the NY skyline, I guess. She pointed out every passing helicopter while we pointed out the well known buildings.

Then, it was back to my parents’ house. She had a couple of gifts waiting there for her. First, a stuffed squirrel. She always says “squirrel!!!!” whenever she sees a squirrel. Such excitement over a common furry creature. So, my mom thought a stuffed one was only appropriate. And, she also got to open up a package from another host mom, some Ohio Buckeyes paraphernalia in her favorite color, red.

We didn’t stay home long, because we had PLANS. We would have taken her to New York City, if we thought she’d enjoy that, but even more than NYC, we thought she’d like to see my sister’s kids and go to the pool with them. So, we did.
After a month apart, their greeting was a bit awkward. The older boys all shook her hand, but my niece and the youngest two boys gave her a hug. But, they quickly jumped back into playing together. Big L had brought them all cards. Even the littlest.

(he was just getting over being sick, which is why he has a weird rash.)

The preteens. Still wrestling.

After the pool, we headed to my sister’s house for dinner and to celebrate my nephew’s birthday. His birthday is actually the next day, but they wanted to celebrate with Big L there.

My sister is awesome at the hospitality stuff. She has a big chalkboard in her dining room where she writes important things. For this day, she put Big L’s name on it. I took a picture, but of course, I am not sharing Big L’s real name on here. 🙂

My sister is also awesome at the cooking part.

And making cheesecakes. It was delicious!

Happy Birthday, Bram!

We spent Big L’s last evening with us eating cheesecake and prancersizing and watching my niece pretend to be a horse. Totally ridiculous, but just the sort of thing you do with family.

Then, we headed back to my parent’s house to pack. Which also turned out to be pretty silly, with vacuum sealed bags and Big L trying on almost every piece of clothing she had, and exclaiming “YUCK!” at a few items.

And then, I tucked her in one last time…

Everyday Life, Hosting