Category Archives: Orphan Care

S’mores, Swimming and Sweet Dreams

Yesterday, we pulled out our rarely used firepit the other night and made hotdogs and s’mores. And it was an activity AND dinner. Yay for that.
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There was watermelon, too.
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Today, we headed to the state park we camped at several weeks ago and went to the beach.
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These 4 had a lot of fun.
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Each night, I tell N “Я тебя люблю. На Добраніч і солодких снів.” In English, “I love you. Goodnight and sweet dreams.” “Sweet dreams” is something that my mom always says. N loves that part so much and always says it with me. This is another one of those little things that I think nothing of, but she’s probably never had anyone to tuck her in before and tell her “sweet dreams.”

Shampoo?

Today, while I was working, N asked, “will you shampoo my hair?” “Later,” I told her.

While I was frantically cleaning for our dinner company, “will you shampoo my hair?” “Later,” I told her again.

While our friends were over for dinner, “will you shampoo my hair?” “Not right now, later,” I said once again, truly feeling a bit exasperated by this point.

All day, I knew that I needed to be a person of integrity for her. Not one who says “later” and then never finds the time. But, someone who sticks to her word. I didn’t quite get the big deal with washing her hair, but it clearly was important to her. So, as everyone was brushing teeth and putting on pajamas, I said, “do you want to shampoo your hair now?” “YES!!!”

So, I pulled the chair up to the sink, grabbed the shampoo and forced a smile on my face, despite how ready I was for bedtime.

As I began to pour the water over the head, I saw her squeeze her eyes closed and I asked, “is the water too hot?” “No.” And then, I saw her smile. The kind that says “I am treasuring this moment.” I gently lathered the soap into her hair and rubbed her scalp. When I was done, I brushed her hair, then cupped her face in my hands and kissed her forehead.  A huge smile crossed her face that said more than all of our broken language has.

For me, it was another thing on today’s checklist. For N, it was a moment that she may have never had before: a mother to gently wash her hair, to take care of her and pamper her. That is what hosting needs to be for most of the kids– smoothing out the rough edges of forced independence and giving them experiences of nourishing and nurturing that they haven’t had before. A shower and a bottle of shampoo? Yes, she could have done it herself. But, she wasn’t looking for clean hair. She was looking for someone to take the time to focus on and care for her.


These photos have nothing to do with the shampoo story, but I can’t share a blog post without photos. 🙂

Helping me make pizza for “піца п’ятницю” as I call it– Pizza Friday. That one got a laugh from her.
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A friend gave us this awesome little sprinkler. It was a big hit!

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Gus got a scraped knee, made better by Olaf. Gus did the best rendition of “Do you want to build a snowman?” the other day while Lena was in the bathroom, complete with knocking, sliding down the door and clucking his tongue. I only wish I had it on video.
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Catching fireflies.
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N is Here

N’s flight was supposed to arrive in Denver in late afternoon. But, her flight was delayed over 7 hours. Super late for our Central-Time adjusted selves.

We saw two rainbows on our weekend trip to Colorado. This one just as we were leaving for the airport.
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As we got to the airport, I realized I’d only been to DIA one other time– when I flew in for AmeriCorps. Where I met my future husband. 🙂
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The airport involves a lot of waiting. I chatted with another P143 volunteer and Aaron walked the kids around on escalator rides and such. Here Gus and Lena are playing with N’s gift, a doggie that looks like ours.
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After we had waited for about two hours, the word was that they were near!

This girl came out, waving and smiling. She walked right up to Lena, holding her welcome poster and said, “hi!”
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I leaned over to introduce myself and she wrapped her arms around me, tight. I imagine anyone watching this scene from afar would think we already knew each other.
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She stayed like that for a couple of minutes, soaking up a hug.

We made introductions.
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Everyone was pretty much instant-friends, but as we navigated the airport, elevators and the parking garage, it seemed like we’d jumped to ten kids instead of 4. So much energy!

That was 48 hours ago, so we’ve been getting to know N since then.
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I expected her to be more quiet, shy, uncertain? Turns out she’s quite the monkey, a little bit wild, and mostly just a normal kid.
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I’m excited to see what our summer holds!

Your Best Yes

I’m not much of a sales person. I have to be really passionate about something before I ask my friends and family to consider it. And, if there’s one thing I’m crazy passionate about, it’s hosting.

Hosting is an opportunity for orphans from countries including Ukraine, Latvia, Ethiopia and China, to come to the United States and live in a family for a few weeks over the summer or Christmastime. Sort of like an exchange program, but the goal isn’t just to teach them English and for them to experience another culture (although that can be beneficial). It’s really to show the kids, who may have never had a stable family life, what love and trust is. To introduce them to God. And, maybe, to find them a forever family.

We have so many awesome kids this season, but we need families to step up. I wanted to share a bit of what I’ve learned about hosting, through my own experience hosting and volunteering with a host organization, and also to address a couple of the most common objections I hear. I’m also open to answering questions, via comment here or email.

1. You don’t need to have it all figured out to say “yes” to the summer.

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I’m kind of a chronic planner and this is one of the most challenging parts for me. When I say “yes”, I want to have accounted for every possible long-term scenario, worst to the ideal, most likely to the most unlikely. But, if you know you can do this summer, I’d encourage you to consider saying “yes” to that and see where God takes things from there.

I had the pleasure of getting to know a couple who said “yes” to a ready-to-age-out teenage boy last summer. Unfortunately, they realized pretty quickly they could not be his forever family, but they shared about him at church and a family they’d never met before stepped up to adopt him and his brother. They’ll be home soon!

At the very least, kids need a place away from their war-torn country for the summer. A place with good meals, a bed and all the hugs they need.

2. You don’t have to be the perfect family, just willing.

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Like my thought #1, you don’t need to have all of the future possibilities planned out. You don’t need to have a ton of extra space for your host child, or be an adoptive parent, or have experience with preteens and teenagers. You just need to say “yes”. God can use your weaknesses and flaws to write an awesome story.

Last summer, we had our house on the market, we were barely only enough to adopt any of the host kids, we had no experience parenting teenagers and we knew we’d be spending a large chunk of the summer out of town. Yet, we said “yes”. And, I’m so glad we did.

Even in all of your imperfections (we all have them!), you have a ton to offer a kid this summer.

3. “But, we already have xyz planned.”

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Bring your host kid! As long as it’s not out of the country or downright dangerous, you can probably bring your host kid. And, it will be a great experience! We took Big L on a LONG trip to visit family and a short camping trip. I also had a work trip in there. She came to school registrations and doctors appointments and all kinds of things. It all worked out and Big L had a great time with her variety of experiences.

4. “Isn’t it expensive?”

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Yes, there’s no way around this one. The hosting fee covers the paperwork, airfare, passport, visa, etc. for your host child, so it does add up.

There are so many things you can spend your money on, but investing in a child is investing in God’s kingdom and in the “least of these”. It might mean saying no to a new couch or an extra couple of days on your next vacation, but it means showing love to someone who wouldn’t know it otherwise.

All of the host programs I am familiar with take tax-deductible donations. Some of the kids have grants. And, most families fundraise. We were blessed with generosity from friends, family and strangers. Don’t let the money hold you back.

5. “I don’t know if I could send my host child back.”

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You probably can’t, but somehow you will. Goodbyes are the hardest part. Both times, as I told Big L goodbye, I knew that even if it was goodbye forever, hosting had been worth it.

I’d also like to address that a lot of people question if hosting is “fair”, to bring a child here for the season and then send them home. First, the children know from the outset that it’s temporary. And secondly, the rules are pretty clear that you do not discuss a permanent scenario, like adoption, with your host child. Big L was well aware that she would return to her home country. It was a vacation and an opportunity to get nurtured. Would you not want to take a vacation if you knew you’d have to return home?

Many host kids do end up being adopted, but there are also those like Big L, who love the family experience, but would rather stay in their home country. This is where many people see our own story and wonder how I can advocate so enthusiastically for hosting after Big L chose not to be adopted. Not every story ends how I want it to, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. We learned so much from her and I have no doubt that she learned so much from us. We stay in touch with her and keep on reminding her that she has people who love her. People she can count on.

Even apart from hosting, we all have people in our lives who are only there temporarily, but they still can have great impact. I’ve had people pour into me for just a season and I walk away better for it, even if the goodbye was hard.

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All it takes is one person to invest in a child and show them their worth. One person to hold the mirror up to them and show them how God sees them. One person to let them know that their life was worth something, could mean something, that they could have great impact.

Maybe you don’t think you have a lot of offer, but if you have any love and space to offer, I’d encourage you to say your best “yes” and see what God makes out of it. He can take the little things, the broken things, the imperfect things, and do something incredible.

We still have around 30 kids with Project One Forty Three‘s Ukraine program alone that need summer host families. Overwhelming? Yes. But, we can find them all families. If you cannot host, can you donate to help another family host? If you cannot donate, can you share about hosting at your church or even just on your Facebook page?

I have FAQs on hosting here and I will be doing an FAQ post in the next few days for families who are already preparing for summer hosting.

Summer Hosting!

I mentioned in my last post that we decided to host again this summer. Our family, Reed and Lena particularly, are very excited about this. Aaron and I really wanted to make sure that they were okay with sharing their summer with another kid. We talked with them about how they felt about our hosting experiences and if they’d like to do it again. They both said, “YES! What’s her name? How old is she? How soon will she be here? Can I make her a card?” Gus was there for the conversation too, but he doesn’t really “get” exactly what it means, especially since it’s still so far in the distant future.

Who?
We’re hosting an 8 year old girl from the same country as Big L. She’s just a bit older than Reed. Her bio information says that she likes math and science, as well as crafts. And, that she loves animals, especially dogs and wants to be a vet! She sounds like a cool kid and we even got to see a short video of her (a new thing that P143 is doing this year). When we first decided to consider hosting, we narrowed it down to a few kids with some specific criteria and P143 then pointed us towards her.

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What does this mean for Big L?
Big L still isn’t sure about adoption, due to her current circumstances. We wanted to keep things “open” in case she had a change of heart. We basically decided to look at the possibility of Big L’s adoption and hosting this summer as two separate questions. Her adoption is still a possibility, but things are very complicated. Hosting is at the very least an opportunity to show “N” some love and stability this summer.

How long is “N” here?
She will be here from early/middle of June until the end of August.

How can we help?
We’re going pretty low-key with the fundraising this time. I still have some MudLove bracelets and a few t-shirts left from the winter. If you would like to order some prints, you can order here. And, I am offering photo sessions for local friends.

I’ve also added a button on the right side bar which shows how much we have left for N’s hosting fees. All donations made through there (Razoo) are tax deductible. We always appreciate your donations, as hosting is expensive.