Category Archives: Adoption

More Q & A

How was the train ride from Kyiv to where you are now?
It was not bad, but very long– 15 hours. We had first class tickets, because that is all Nikolei could get for us. The train left at 7:40. We slept for awhile, about 9:30 until about 5am for me. I was very concerned that we’d get off at the wrong place, which really should not have been a concern, because Sasha hopped on and got us. The bathrooms really are as disgusting as everyone says, though. Everything in them is wet. Bring hand sanitizer and wipes. 


What is your flat like in this city?
It is huge! We pay about $45USD/day. We have internet (obviously) and cable TV, which gets channels in many different languages. The English channels, either 1 or 2 of them, are not so good.
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This is our kitchen, of course. Refrig, Stove, Microwave, Sink, no oven.

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This is the living room. The couch pulls out into a second bed.

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This is the washing machine in the bathroom, very small and no dryer. This thing shakes so hard it will knock off whatever is on top of it. And in this case, it disconnected a bit from the waterline and leaked a bit.

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This is the bedroom, very big. The bed is futon-like and not super comfortable.


Do you get any sense of the general politics there?
No. Not really. There is a very big statute of Lenin, and then down a few blocks, there is a very big statue of Artoma, a revolution leader (don’t ask me more about him!). 


What are you doing about language? Will you have them only speak English, or will you try to continue Ukrainian (or Russian)? Do they speak Russian as well as Ukrainian?
They’ll speak all English. In this region, they only speak Russian. As I understand it, it is best for an adopted child to lose their first language and learn exclusively their parents’ language to bond with their parents. If they want to relearn Russian or learn Ukrainian when they’re older, we’d be happy to help them pursue that.


Are you taking a cab back/forth to the orphanage?
We have a driver. Same guy, every day. He waits at the orphanage during our visit. His name is Oleg and he is a great guy, so nice and tries to speak English to us. A taxi costs about $12.50 per visit. A driver costs about $22.50 + tip per visit. We tried a taxi the first day and he had to stop twice and ask for directions. Our taxi on the way home smelled horrible and I was about ready to vomit. Of course, most taxi drivers don’t speak English and don’t know we don’t speak Russian. I didn’t think I could deal with the surprise of a new taxi driver each day. We decided to hire a driver. Now, we share our driver with Olivia’s family, which cuts the cost down a lot. I am very happy with our driver and he will stop wherever we ask for an additional cost, which is great for getting things like groceries.

Lost Little Men

First of all, I want to give all of the other families who have adopted or are committed to adopting a children this orphanage a disclaimer. I am NOT calling anyone out. I don’t mean this to offend and I am not questioning anyone’s decisions. But, it has really been on my heart lately.

Why not the boys? We know of SEVEN families adopting or who have adopted girls from this orphanage, including us. And ONE family who has adopted a boy, also us.

James. David. Kristopher. Cody. Peyton. Andrew. Daniel.

Some of their names.

They all still wait.

Our son and James, who we observed today, they’re just “little men” as our facilitator calls them. They wrestle, they jump, they throw things. They’re like all of the other little boys I’ve met, but without a mama and a papa.

The thing about little men? They NEED a mama and a papa.

That’s what we see in our son. He is demanding, bossy, and pushy. Yet, as we’ve gotten to know him, we’ve seen that he is loving, helpful, protective and sensitive. He needs guidance.

Julia writes passionately for the lost boys. My heart has been stuck lately on the lost men.

The lost men these boys grow up to be. After 18 years without a family. Without security. Without anyone willing to cross an ocean for them.

What do you think? Why don’t these boys have families? What kind of men will they grow up to be?

James

We spent a lot of time with James from Reece’s Rainbow today. He was waiting for his babushka to come visit (and she never showed up). And so he was in the same room with us. I’d love to see this adorable little man find a family. If anyone wants to know what he’s like, get in touch! He’s all boy, totally sweet and adorable.

No Camera and James

You all are going to be mad… I forgot the camera today!

James from Reece’s Rainbow came by and played with us today. He was waiting for his grandmother to visit, as I could understand. And she never showed up. 😦 He is a very cute little boy. He and Ilya are buddies and were wrestling and throwing things at each other– having a lot of fun like little boys do. He seems like such a sweet little boy. I know there is a family out there for him. Who is it?!?!

I’d be happy to tell any interested mamas and papas more about him. He is about 6 months older than Ilya and is about the same size, maybe even a tad bit smaller than him. 
The boys got pretty crazy. It was all a bit overwhelming. Lena just sat on my lap for awhile and we watched them. She clearly gets overwhelmed when things are a bit crazy… just wait til you get home and meet the dogs, Lena! 
For past few days, the kids have had a new game, running up the hall away from us. It is a bit exhausting and really just no fun for us grownups. I am really ready for “gotcha day” when we take them out of the orphanage. 
I should have clarified yesterday… I am not homesick, just ready to go home. That might not make sense, but you know how when you go on vacation, you reach a point where you’re just ready to go home? Like that. I was totally exhausted today and I have a sore throat right now. I am missing the comforts of a grocery store with 30 different kinds of orange juice and the deliciousness of American comfort food. 

Please

Today’s visit was just another normal visit. Lena was still being a bit more irritable than usual, but she was much better than yesterday.

Ilya is very cute with the girls. The girls were playing a rather trying game of running up the hall away from us today, to get us to chase them and pick them up. Ilya took it upon himself to bring them back a few times. Lena would respond to him going to get her and running back herself, but Ilya may have literally been trying to drag Olivia up the hall at one point. I think she was laughing, but someone intervened.
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Ilya learned a new word today. “Please”. He gets very demanding during our snacktime. “Caka, Caka, Sus, Sus, Caka”. I was telling him “please” in Russian, trying to get him to say “Caka, please”. Well, he wouldn’t say it in Russian, so I thought I’d try English. And then he said it… “please!”. All of the grownups just burst out laughing and he was sooo proud of himself. Huge smile. I think speech is a struggle for him, and he can be shy about it. After that, I asked Lena to say please when she wanted a cracker and the little copy cat said “crackers cheese!”

Lena sat on my lap for over a half hour eat crackers. Constantly. Ilya and Olivia got up and played. She watched but she was totally content to keep eating as long as I handed over another one when she said “crackers cheese!” I don’t know how many crackers she ate, but it was a lot. I am not sure if it was out of hunger (certainly a possibility) or a security thing, wanting to know that there was food and she could have it. Eventually, she slowed down and I put them away. I think she may have kept on eating if I had let her, but I was able to put them away without much fussing.
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I hate to sound whiny, but I am ready to go home. There are lots and lots of things which I am missing. Two and a half weeks is a long time to be gone and it’ll be at least another two before we’re home.