All posts by Molly

Adoption, Everyday Life, Q&A

Superman’s comeback and calling all questions

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Reed starts full-time kindergarten on Thursday. FULL-TIME. This was a big decision for me… I made the big mistake of mentioning it on Facebook. But, ultimately, he is eager to go to school. There were a lot of factors which played into my decision– the personalities of the 4 of us who are home all day, how our day typically goes, etc. and I think this is the best decision.

We spent most of last week preparing for school– physical at the doctor, getting all of the paperwork together, buying school supplies… we were pretty exhausted at the end of each day. We also had our first post placement visit for Gus. Basically the social worker came to our house and chatted with us about how everything is going.

Gus is still teething. He is getting at least 3 teeth right now, 1 canine and 2 molars. He doesn’t love me poking around in his mouth, so that is just what I have seen and felt. Gus and I both have colds. Actually, I think have cold-ergies. A cross between a cold and allergies.

Do you remember those super cute shirts we sold back in the fall? My kids love these shirts. Lena tries to wear hers every day and Reed has been known for wearing it and then putting it back with his clean clothes, so he doesn’t have to wait for me to do laundry.

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Gus looks pretty cute in his, too, right?

Well, my friend KJ is selling them now, to bring home her son, also from Eastern Europe. If you want one, NOW is the time to order. Go to KJ’s blog, read the details and buy a shirt! On sale until August 31.

I haven’t been blogging a ton, largely because I am just too tired to put together a post which makes a lot of sense. I just gave up with this one. But, does anyone have any questions you’d like me to answer? About adoption? Or anything else? I will try my best…

Everyday Life

18 months and Toothy Milestones

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My day began at 12:30. Gus woke up. VERY unhappy. Even after I calmed him down, he was not going back to sleep, so I brought him into bed with me. Poor kid is teething. One of his canines is just poking out, and apparently canines are the worst. He cuddled up with me and we tossed and turned for about 2 more hours before we finally fell asleep.

Babies need mamas. Gus has his own very sad, post-institutionalized way of self-soothing, but when I scoop him up and cuddle with him, that’s enough. Then he’s just my baby, content to put his head on my chest and play with my fingers or let me tickle his feet.

The excitement of our morning did not end there. Reed and Lena let us sleep in a bit, but when we got up, the first thing Reed said to me was…

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“Look, mama! I lost my tooth!”

He was SO excited. And I was so excited for him. He is so cute without it, and it feels like crossing the line from preschooler to big kid.

Even though we don’t pretend that the tooth fairy is real, we still play out the tradition. Reed is pretty sure that I cannot be the tooth fairy. Here is the letter that he wrote to her:

“Dear Tooth Fairy,

We have a baby brother named Baby Gus. We love you, Tooth Fairy. I lost my missing tooth. It was pretty funny and it goes straight and I tried to get it back to normal, like teeth are supposed to get back. I can’t find things small because there is a lot of white. How do you fly inside my teeth? Are you little or not? Is your magic wand at the top a star or a heart? Sorry for telling you you don’t know how to snap.

Thank you and love,

Reed”

Gus turned 18 months old today. Since we didn’t get to celebrate his 1st birthday with him, I wanted to celebrate this. Nothing fancy, just the Oreo cupcakes.

Gus had his first cake moment. I imagine that this is his first time ever eating cake, and you can see how he just throws it until I put some icing in his mouth. It was too cute.

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Happy 1/2 Birthday, Gus!

Adoption

Favorite “Stuff” from Flying with Gus

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I did some research before flying with Gus and discovered some cool gadgets that make flying easier. Easier might not be the word for it. Possible? Especially since we flew halfway across the country, just me and a new-to-me toddler. Hopefully this will be helpful to others.

Boon spoon: This was so handy for feeding Gus his baby food. I also used it in our apartment and now at home, too, because it is just so convenient. Way less messy than a regular spoon. There were times when I wish I had 2, since Gus could easily eat everything in 1 and it was way too hard to refill it with him on my lap.

Snack Trap cups: Brilliant. They do not completely prevent the mess, especially if you are letting your little one feed himself. I did let him feed himself out of the Snack Trap cup, because then his hands and mouth were both occupied. Messy, but he was quiet.

Sit N Stroll: This worked alright to use as a stroller while we were in Moscow. Gus was very comfortable in it. The only issue were bumpy sidewalks and big curbs. And stairs, but you’d have that problem with any stroller. If I was without a second adult in Moscow, I think I would have preferred a light umbrella stroller, or had to go with a carrier instead. But, this stroller was VERY nice in the airport. If I had bought him an airplane seat, I could have used it for that, too. We also used it as a car seat. It was nice to have an all-in-one! It is sitting in our living room right now, waiting for my friend to borrow it for her trip. Gus goes over and sits in it occasionally.

Small Wetbag: I got this for diapers, but I ended up storing baby food in it. It is not a must, but it is much more durable than a ziploc bag.

Tiny Diner: genius. Of course, baby eats food off the floor, so is it that important?

For snacks, I went to Target and bought a bunch of yogurt drops and baby fruit snacks. These were new to him and he loved everything that he tried. The fruit snacks are probably one of the least messy things I’ve found. Yogurt drops can be a bit messy and chalk, and most snacks leave crumbs behind.

Other stuff:

-full package of wipes

-toys (We mostly used some touch/feel flash cards and a homemade quiet book)

-2 full sippy cups. We definitely needed 2.

-hand sanitizer

-a changing pad (for public bathrooms– yuck!)

I packed a carrier, and I just didn’t use it, as much as I love it. Gus isn’t nuts about it and he loves the stroller. Plus, I needed the stroller more for moments when I need to go to the bathroom (when we were flying just the 2 of us) or when I needed to eat. The stroller was much handier to have to be able to put him down.

 

Adoption, Everyday Life, Second Adoption

Parenting a 17mo old

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As I talked to a friend today, I was reminded that I want to portray our attachment period honestly. I am so happy to have Gus home that I hesitate to ever open my mouth with a complaint.

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But, parenting an a 17-month old is exhausting.

One question my friend asked me is whether this is easier or harder than the period after Reed and Lena’s homecoming. Much, much easier, because we are already parents, there is just one of him, and we have a better support system than we did the first time around. We were just much more prepared this time, mostly because of our experience the first time around.

Gus has transitioned in to our family MUCH easier than Reed and Lena did. Of course, it’s possible that we are still in the “honeymoon” period, but Gus is doing very well. Most of his behavior seems very normal for his age.

However, there are challenges. Some of them are just part of parenting a toddler, and a few are related to his past.

-Prefers women to men, including me to Aaron: This is pretty normal. He’s has not spent much time around men, so he naturally prefers me and other women to men. This is a challenge, because while he super comfortable with me, he is only okay with Aaron. He won’t look to Aaron for comfort yet, and still gets a bit upset if he sees me leaving.

-Communicating: I am used to communicating with Reed and Lena, at their level. We are signing with Gus, and the idea is still pretty novel to him. He knows a few signs, like “more” and “all done” and we are working on several more signs. But, even though he knows them, he doesn’t understand how to use them without prompting, and I need to remind him that he has a choice. Choices are very new and exciting to him.

-He’s into everything: This is definitely a typical age thing, but I think it is only complicated by the fact that everything is new to him. He probably hadn’t seen a toilet before we picked him up, or any kitchen stuff. He watches me with great fascination when I brush my teeth or put on makeup. It is ALL new to him and his preferred ways of exploring are touching and putting things in his mouth.

-Hitting/grabbing/pulling hair/biting to be funny: Of course, this is also all typical 17mo old stuff. And it is exhausting. “Gentle”… 500 times a day. This is particularly frustrating when he is hurting Reed or Lena. Fortunately, they have a lot of patience with him.

One of the biggest challenges is just that I was pretty comfortable parenting 2 preschoolers. Most of the time, I knew how to communicate with them, motivate them, etc. It is a whole new learning curve. An expected new learning curve, but challenging nevertheless.

I am ready for nap time most days. But, I’m always ready for those sweet post-nap kisses, too!

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