Thoughts on Hosting

August 10, 2014 Molly 2 Comments

Each night, I pull Big L in for a hug and whisper “I love you”. For a second, I think how this has become routine, but then I see her face just before she whispers “I love you, too.” I see her soaking up those words.

And, I think of all the times I’ve said those words out of obligation. All of the times I’ve said “I love you, too” as though I would have said “goodbye”. She’s never had that. The grandparents I told “I love you, too” before I hung up the phone. Or the dad I awkwardly told “I love you too” as we battled through my teen years. Or how I can always count on my mom to say “I love you”, on the phone when we’re apart. Big L’s never had those abundance of “I love you”s. Now, my careless words are so treasured by her.

—

Seeing things through Big L’s eyes is such an experience. I tire of hear “Mama, look! Mama, look! Mama, look!” all day long, but I think there is something spiritual in seeing the world with such wonder. To her, each bird and each squirrel is a special treasure to be delighted over. I rarely appreciate these tiny creations, but she sure does.

—

A few weeks ago, I felt frustrated with her, with her attitude and her behavior. I regularly remind myself how she is just a child, and one who has never had the advantage of proper parenting. A child figuring things out on her own. As I stewed over her behavior, the deep realization hit me that I am so glad that God does not deny me love based on my own behavior. He loves me and forgives me no matter what. In that light, her missteps seemed so tiny.

—

This evening, we had family photos with Big L taken. I found a super cute dress for Big L and it was very cheap, so I got one in Lena’s size, too. I didn’t want them to wear matching dresses for the photos, so I set Lena’s dress aside. I also wasn’t sure how Big L would react to having the same dress as a girl so much younger than her. I snuck Lena into my room tonight to show her the dress, knowing she’d be delighted. Well, she showed Big L right away.

Seeing the dress, Big L screamed, “I HAVE A SISTER!!!!” She picked Lena up and spun her around, screaming “SISTERS!!!!” And then she hugged both boys and said “I HAVE BROTHERS!!!” She skipped around with them the rest of the evening, “Come here, sister and brothers!”

I had no clue that a pair of matching dresses would get such a reaction, nor did I think that Big L would be so over the moon about matching a child half her age. But, perhaps there’s something about matching your “sister” that says “we belong”. We match, so we must belong together.

—

The thing that really amazes me most about Big L is that I know she’s been through a lot. There’s no child who is an orphan and hasn’t experienced loss. Knowing bits of her story, her loss is real and profound. But, she is still full of joy. If I have a bad attitude or lose my patience, she just forgives me, without a second thought. I have a lot to learn in that way.

It is such a privilege to love Big L and have a chance to see the world through her eyes.

Everyday Life, Hosting

Big L’s Borscht

August 5, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

Big L has been talking to us for weeks about making borscht. On Sunday, Aaron finally took her to the store and helped her get the ingredients. She needed: 3 beets, a 10lb bag of potatoes, a cabbage, salt and red pepper.

When she got home, she put me to work, peeling beets and potatoes for her. She chopped and dumped in all into our largest pot.

If I was to write the recipe, it might be something like this:

3 beets, chopped
6-7lbs potatoes, cubed
half a cabbage, chopped
pinch of salt
pinch of red pepper
dash of sugar

Dump it all into a huge pot. Boil until potatoes and beets and tender.

However, I’d probably chop the vegetables finer or even use the food processor, but that’s my preference. Natasha’s Kitchen also has a recipe for Russian Borscht, which is supposed to be quite good.

She was quite proud of her soup. We all praised her on it, and said we’d add cooking to her list of things she’s good at. Then, we listed off everything we knew she was good at, while she smiled shyly.

Everyday Life, Hosting, Photography, Project 365

Project 365: July Update

August 4, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

I’m a bit late getting my July update for my Project 365 together. It’s hard to believe that I have just two months to go. July was a busy month and there were a couple of days where I realized that I almost missed taking a photo. One in particular where I didn’t pick up my camera all day! Oops. Fortunately, I did take a photo with my phone.

Here’s July’s photo calendar:

Here’s a review of my “Must Capture” list for July.

4th of July fun

I wish I had been able to enjoy the fireworks more (without Gus melting down and begging me to take him home, which I did), but I still think I did an okay job capturing this. Apart from Gus’s meltdown, we had a wonderful 4th of July and I’m really glad that Big L was here to experience it!

More Summer Fun

Yes, we had lots of summer fun, particularly with my sister’s family. So many wonderful memories were made.

Family Reunion #2/Family Traditions

I definitely feel like I got what I wanted for this one. This is one of those things that I want my kids to remember about their childhood. Connecting with extended family, having a blast running around a farm and doing all the things kids SHOULD do– catching frogs, climbing on hay bales, sneaking cookies behind their mom’s back.

Traveling Back Home

I did an okay job with this. Goodbyes are hard and the drive is long. I’m not quite sure what my original purpose was with this one, so good enough.

August Goals

Reconnecting with friends
End of Summer Fun
Start of School
Saying Goodbye to Big L

Looking forward to capturing another full month!

Everyday Life

Hosting: Real Talk Part 2

August 3, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

[This is part of my mini-series sharing the challenges of hosting. You can read Part 1 here.]

I shared a few of weeks ago about how we’re really doing. It’s the number one question we’re asked. Last week, I read this post from Incourage about how the answer can be “Oh, I’m so blessed!” and ““I’m ready to be done with all of this. It’s harder than I thought it would be.” at the same time. It really resonated with me. Living in the reality that you can be blessed AND things can be hard.

The truth is things are good. I’m NOT ready for hosting to be over. I think when August 27th rolls around, I’ll be a tiny bit relieved to have my life back to “normal”, but mostly I’ll be incredibly sad to see her go home. I’ll be worried about sending her back to a country which is currently unstable, although her particular part of the country is still safe. I’ll pray that she doesn’t lose the confidence and language and joy that I’ve seen her gain while she is here.

So, my completely honest answer would be “Things are great. I’m so blessed, but there are many hard and frustrating moments, too.”

Things are FAR from perfect. I mentioned before that one of our biggest challenges was the language barrier. That’s still very real, but it’s getting better and better by the day. We use Google Translate less and less and are beginning to communicate using English for everyday things. She is talking in English more and more, particularly with Reed, Lena and Gus. I sometimes overhear her talking with them when they’re playing upstairs and I downstairs. I understand being more confident with kids and I’m very glad she’s trying.

The other challenge I mentioned at the beginning of July is entertaining her. This is still a real challenge. We are awaiting some more books in her language, which will help quite a bit. There’s just a lot of time to fill each day and we’ve gone through most of the craft type of things already.

We’ve also started running into some sibling type of fights. Almost entirely between Big L and Reed. I think this is related to keeping everyone entertained– when they’re bored or have spent too much time together, they start to get into nitpicky fighting and doing things to annoy each other. This doesn’t concern me, as Reed and Lena do it to each other as well.

I hate to even mention these things, because they’re tiny when looking at the bigger picture. She’s a great kid and we’re all having a fun time. I find her attitude and outlook on life, happy in spite of all she’s been through, to be totally inspiring. Love this kid.

Everyday Life

Fair Fun

August 2, 2014 Molly 1 Comment

We got home from our family fun to many surprises. We found that my friend Danae had stopped by…

I blurred out Big L’s name. This is the view from her window right now.

We went to the county fair together with Danae and her family.

Danae and her family are like family to us. And, we’re also certain that those two on the left will get married someday, so we can legally be family, too. Except we’ll be the kind of in-laws who love spending time together.

Big L got her first taste of being in the Midwest. Posing on farm equipment and watching a tractor pull.

Watching the tractor pull, in gorgeous light.

Danae said, “she’s going to think [our state] is crazy!” Yes, yes, she is. Although, it might be the right kind of crazy for her, considering she was posing with farm equipment and sheep within her first week. Her choice.

She also pretty much hit it off with Danae, which makes me happy, too. Two awesome people.

So, we hung out at the fair all evening. The kids even rode a few rides.

Actually, Gus and Reed rode this one 3 times. Yup, 3 times. Reed also ran into his best friend from school and got to go on it with him, which made Reed pretty happy.

Lena tried it once and was not too sure.

Big L wanted to go on the tilt-a-whirl, but none of us really had the stomach to go on with her. So, Danae volunteered her husband, which worked out perfectly!