We’re so sad and angry about losing Alyona. We felt so close to bringing her home. We felt like she was already a part of our family. We already have her car seat and her bed. I was slowly accumulating clothes for her. I had all of the supplies picked out to make her a hooded towel, picked out just for her.

I can’t really look at her photo because it just makes me feel sad. We will never see her again. We will never know how she’s doing or get updates on her. A “family” stepped forward to “foster” her. They knew about our plans to adopt her and wanted to stay in Russia. They have known her for years. While I can understand their motivation, their timing and execution is just cruel. They knew about us and they had actually told the hospital that they would not be pursuing Alyona unless we didn’t pass court. Alyona may never leave the hospital… we will not know and there is nothing we can do.

We have the opportunity to go to Russia during the time we had for our court trip and instead accept the referral of a new child. I think that we will chose to do this. While this is quick, everything is in place already. I think that moving forward will be painful and healing. We are praying about which child is the perfect fit for our family.

We are so grateful for all of those who have prayed for us and cried with us. We have truly wonderful friends and family walking through this with us. Please continue to pray that Alyona has all of her needs met and that our family has some clarity about our decisions moving forward.