All posts by Molly

Endings

May 13, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

“Let me see redemption win, let me know the struggle ends.”

I heard this song on the radio today, and while I’m not usually such a big fan, it summed up my feelings.

When we first decided to adopt, we decided to adopt two children from the same baby house. From the children on Reece’s Rainbow, we were draw to “Quinn” and “Erika” (Lena) and committed to them. About a month after we first committed, we were told that “Quinn” had been taken into foster care (in Ukraine). It was okay. A bit sad, but we knew it could be good for him, if he found his forever family in Ukraine. “Ilya” (Reed) was added a few days later and we were instantly drawn to him.

I wondered about “Quinn” from time to time. Then, out of the blue one day, I got an email.

It was Quinn’s mama. His forever mama. Telling me how she met both Ilya and Quinn. She loved them both and knew they would both be good sons. But, it was Quinn who “captured her heart” and she couldn’t leave him, knowing he’d be moved to an institution after his fourth birthday, which was creeping close.

So, filled with pain and guilt (her words, not mine) over leaving Ilya, she adopted “Quinn”. And like any mother, she wondered about Ilya. How he had grown, how he was doing in his family.

Then, she stumbled upon my blog. She saw Ilya… and emailed me. She told me this whole story, sent me photos of Ilya (Reed) that I had never seen before and told me all about Quinn and even sent some recent photos of him.

My heart about burst. How their stories were tangled up in ways I never knew before. And, this gift, this sort of closure. Knowing not just that Quinn had a family, but that he was thriving.

—

“I want to know a song can rise, from the ashes of a broken life.”

While we took “losing” Quinn in stride, losing “Helen” was devastating. We had met her. We had held her. Played with her. We were ready to bring her home.

She, too, is thriving in her forever family. Her mother doesn’t email me, but I’ve found updated photos. She looks happy and healthy.

Losing her was difficult. But, we found our Gus. We chose his name quickly, and our family referred to him as Gus even before he came home.

Around that time, the song “Beautiful Things” by Gungor had recently become popular. We heard it everywhere. On the radio, in church. We listened to the entire album at home.

As a late English language learner, Reed struggles with his comprehension sometimes and often confuses a more common word for a less common one. So, it was purely a mistake when he started singing, “You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of Gus.”

And that’s just it. Gus is the one we never knew we needed, but he is one of us. He fits.

—

The question of the day today seems to be “how are you feeling?”. Thank you for your concern, dear friends.

Disappointed is a good word for it. Concerned for our host girl. Wondering if or how much she knew and if her heart is aching.

But, with our adoptions, I’ve seen how God has taken our desire to give 3 children a home and in the end, 5 children have homes. I doubt that “Helen’s” family would have stepped forward to adopt her, had we not been so close to bringing her to America.

With adoption, I learned quickly that there is no promise of easy or painless, but it’s always worth it. In the end, it’s all beautiful.

I think the same might be true of hosting. Or, any time we step out in faith.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28

I know this is not the end of our host child’s story. I hope her story will become a beautiful one, and known to us in this lifetime, like those of “Quinn” and “Helen”. I know that’s a lot of hope for, but that’s never stopped me. I have crazy hope for all of those beautiful things.

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” -Isaiah 43:19

Everyday Life

Hope Deferred

May 13, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick. . .”

We got that call today. The bad one.

“Molly? …this is (coordinator) at New Horizons for Children. We got some bad news today. [Host child] will not be able to come this summer.”

They were unable to get her documents together. I do not know all of the details, but this is specific to her and (obviously) not anticipated. New Horizons was really wonderful and after 2 failed adoptions and getting notified via email both times, I thought it was so wonderful of them to call and talk to me on the phone. They asked if we’d like to pick a different child. Unfortunately, most children have either been chosen (yay!) or it’s already too late (boo!). There are only a handful left and both we and New Horizons agreed that none of them would be a good fit for us.

However, they will hang on to all donations so far and allow us to use them towards winter hosting.

For the auction, because the money was not yet in, we decided to have all of the donations go to the Smith family. They are hoping to host a boy named Valera and have a long ways to go with fundraising. We hope that this auction will give them a good push.

A few wonderful friends have asked me to keep Moose Prints up. I really have no interest in starting a business for profit– it just seems like a lot of work. But, I’ve contacted the hosting agency to see if we can raise the money proactively throughout the summer and fall and keep accepting donations for winter hosting. They are looking into it for me.

As for our sweet host girl. I do not know if she was aware that she had been chosen. Either way, it is difficult. Either to know of hosting, but not be chosen or to know you were chosen but not get to go. At the suggestion of a friend, we’ve offered to send her a care package if possible. We’d love for her to know just how loved she is, even if she can’t be here with us. We would love to fill it up with goodies– some necessities and some fun things to send it back to her. New Horizons is also looking into this for us.

And, I ask that you keep praying for her. We “lost” both “Quinn” and “Helen”, but yet, they both have families of their own and miraculously, we’ve even been able to see updates on how they are doing. And, if we hadn’t “lost” them, we wouldn’t have Reed or Gus. We are praying that our host girl’s story will be as beautiful. So, keep praying.

“. . .but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” -Proverb 13:12

Fundraisers, Hosting

Preparing

May 11, 2014 Molly 1 Comment

Our sweet host girl will not be here for another 43 days (not that I’m counting), but we have so much to do to prepare for her arrival.

Of course, at the top of the list is fundraising. We have $1120 left, plus the additional cost of her flight to our airport.

Two quick FYIs:

Our auction ends tomorrow at 10am PST. Please go check it out and bid!
I added some new photos this week AND I’ll be sending print orders to the lab tomorrow as well. If you’ve been thinking about ordering, now is a great time! Here’s the link to Moose Prints.

If you’d just like to donate, here’s a link for that as well.

So, what else do we have to do?

Well, hosting involves a bit of paperwork. Not too bad compared to a Russian adoption, but a bit. There’s also a lot of training that goes along with it. There is much required and recommended reading, and then we’ll also have a full day of training in June.

We also have to prepare her room. We are fortunate to have a guest bedroom, but it is set up for an adult guest. We’d like to do a few things to make it better suited for a pre-teen. And shopping– wow. She will very likely come with only the clothes on her back, so we need to get some clothes for her, as well as a toy or two. We may try to get her a bicycle as well, as bikes are a common summer activity here. Of course, the challenge is that she’ll have to learn how to ride it, too!

Lastly, we’re just prepping ourselves. We recently started a new devotional with the kids, a routine that we know will be an important routine to include her in when she is here. And praying, praying that we will be prepared to welcome her here and that she will be prepared to let us into her life.

Any great advice from previous host families on how to prepare?

Everyday Life

Afternoon Shadows (photography tip)

May 10, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

I am really shy to give photography advice, because I still feel like I have a ton to learn myself.

That being said, I’ve had a few people ask from time to time. While I’m still just learning, I want to help how I can. I was flipping through my photos from playing in the sprinkler, and I knew I needed to share this. It’s one tip that anyone can use.

The other day, I shared photos of my kids playing in the sprinkler. They were taken about 4 hours before sunset. The sun was still high in the sky and they were not in the shade. This is a challenging time to take photos, because of the harsh shadows that the high sun causes.

Case in point:

Um, no. Sorry. I would have just deleted that photo if I wasn’t using it for this post. Not just because Gus looks unhappy, but also because those shadows on his face– around his eyes and below his cheeks are intense. Even if he was smiling, it would look awful.

I used to think that there was really no point in pulling out my camera in the middle of the day at all. All of my photos looked like that one.

But. Silly, because all I needed to do was move 180 degrees around my subject. So, instead of shooting from where I was, I went to the other side of the action.

Voila. Do you see how the shadows on his face are totally gone?

I simply moved across from where I was. Do you see the white, green and orange cups? That’s where I had been sitting. Now the sun is behind my kids and they won’t have the harsh shadows on their faces. Super easy. Because the lightening is behind them, they are “backlit”.

The only issue that you may have with this is that your subject may be underexposed, especially if you have a very bright background. For example, someone standing in front of a bright window.

(I shot this in manual, but I asked my computer to tell me what proper exposure was. The left photo is what it thinks is proper exposure for the overall image. The right is the exposure that I set, wanting it to be exposed for Lena’s face, not even overall.)

This is one of the troubles of shooting in auto mode. However, many cameras offer something called “exposure compensation” which allows you to tell the camera that you actually want the photo brighter (or darker) than it thinks that the photo should be. The icon for it is a little plus and minus box. Play around with it, but if you want more detailed information, google “exposure compensation”. Of course, you can also always lighten your photo up with photo editing software, but there are some limitations there.

Thoughts? Do you hate that mid-day sun, too?

Everyday Life

Moose Print Session: Oliver (and Buford!)

May 8, 2014 Molly Leave a comment

I was super excited to be contacted by some old friends for a Moose Prints session. It had been way too long since we had seen each other– so long, in fact, that I hadn’t even met their son, Oliver!

This kid is just adorable. Spunky, all over the place and adorable.