About Lena

March 30, 2011 Molly 11 Comments

I think I blogged a bit more detailed about Ilya, because he is more of a roller coaster ride of both highs and lows. Troubles and dramatic progress. Lena on the other hand, changes a bit slower and it is harder for me to notice.

But, there were a few things yesterday that showed me just how much she is changing, growing and settling in with us. First, I got an email from a friend. I was about something which I had been planning to ask for help with, and boom, before I even asked, this friend was offering exactly what I was hoping for. I hope to share more of that with you when things progress. Anyways, along with this wonderful thing she was sharing, she also sent me this photo…

Honestly, the more I look at that photo and think about it, the more I want to cry.

It just reminds me of all of those photos we saw of her, before we knew her. Like this…

Or this…

Even in one where she is smiling, in our blog header, my aunt commented that she just didn’t seem as happy as Ilya did… that she looked a bit sad underneath that smile.

Who is Lena now?

She is joyful.

Full of life.

And personality.

Another thing which reminded me of how smart and silly she is was when we were skype-ing with my mom and nephews today. My computer was about to run out of juice, so I asked her to sing to them until I came back. And she did, just smiling and singing about wanting an apple. Then, I asked her to sing about Puppytown and then the ABCs. Yes, she sang them all. Putting on a good show for her Babushka Lola’s birthday. Did she get beyond a couple lines of each song? “Mooo”, as she’d tell you, but she understood what I asked her and she sang.

My sister emailed me a few months ago, when we were having trouble with Lena screaming and throwing tantrums. My sister knew how totally miserable it was for everyone and her insight was simply that Lena was alive and fighting. That she was one tough little girl and that would serve her well in life.

Looking back, I can see how true that is. But, now, she is alive, strong and joyful. She is happy and silly. She laughs and will make others laugh to no end. Given the choice to walk or be carried, she usually says “ca weh”. Watch out if you tickle her or play with her hair, she will quickly return the favor. She is just a goofball. Smart, funny, happy and ALIVE.

Everyday Life

Happy Birthday, Babushka Lola!

March 29, 2011 Molly 8 Comments

Today is Babushka Lola’s (my mom) birthday. Happy Birthday, Babushka, Lola! We love you lots and lots. We made her a special card and it took us about two hundred photos to get what I wanted. Here are some of the outtakes:

It was cheesy smile central.

Well, I think I prefer the smile to the grumpy look!

“Smile like this!”

Apparently his most natural smiles come about when he chokes his sister!

This was one of the last photos on our first attempt. “Ppppppphhh, I am so done with Mr. Cheesy Smiles over here.”

She is a little princess. If you are wondering what happened to her head, that’s what happens when clumsy 3yos run on pavement.

After looking through the photos from our first attempt, we tried again. Lena had a very cute pose in one of the photos, which inspired this idea…

I’m over here, Lena!

This is so cute, but not what I was going for.

And this was her birthday card. How cute are these two?!?

Everyday Life

March Madness

March 21, 2011 Molly 6 Comments

I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging much. We have been enjoying our awesome weather. I was so excited when we hit 50 a few weeks ago, and now we’ve had a few days where we’ve reached 80. So we’ve been getting out, a lot.

We’re still having lots of ups and downs. Ilya is just a strong-willed kid. While I think being strong-willed is an awesome attribute in a person, it is very frustrating to be a parent of a strong-willed child. Yesterday, Lena and I were looking at a book and Ilya was sitting next to us. I was asking Lena the colors and we looked at the color of a car. She told me it was “yellow” and I said “yes, that’s yellow.” And then Ilya said “I dink es orange.”

We also had a fun evening last week. We were at dinner and Ilya was bossing Aaron around. I asked Ilya if he was the papa and he said “yes!” So, we made him do papa’s jobs for a little while. He was very persistent with the whole thing, not wanting to give up. But, he would ask me for help and I told him that papa does not need help with those things. I told him if he was Ilya, he could have help. He never gave up, but I made him stop after awhile and reminded him that Papa is much bigger than him and maybe he shouldn’t try to be Papa until he’s that big. I know that he wants to be LIKE Papa, but we’re trying to teach him that he’s not ready to have all of the privileges and responsibilities that come with being a grown up.

Lena had a big owie last week, running on the driveway. She cried until we started cleaning her up. I got her a “special drink” (yogurt) and took her over to our rocking chair. She sat with me, until Aaron and Ilya decided to go play some more and she was off. That girl is tough.

Here’s a little March Madness message for you…

Everyday Life

Just Lots of Words

March 15, 2011 Molly 4 Comments

Yes, we’re still alive. We’ve been busy around here! And I was without my computer for a little bit a few days ago, while the battery was being replaced. I ALMOST talked Apple into giving me a new computer. Flickr is still giving me a hard time, so no photos this post.

I was thinking today about how wonderfully blessed with are with people who just give us things. We got a package last week from my mom with a few things she’d gotten us and a bunch of clothes that my sister’s friend had given her to give to me. I’ve never met this friend, but what a wonderful friend! And then, yesterday, we were at my friend’s parents’ house and Ilya was playing with this toy tractor… one of those cute John Deere ones. And we were getting ready to go and my friend’s mom asked me if we wanted to take it home. Really? He was LOVING that tractor, so after a bit of persuasion, I accepted. He just loves vehicles he can push around on the floor, so that is going to get a lot of use! And then today, I finally finished going through a HUGE bag of clothes a blog friend gave us. Her daughter’s hand-me-downs with lots of great stuff.

And still, we are loving Bounce videos right now; an awesome blog reader who I’ve never even met and lives far away sent them to us. They’re made for kids on the autism spectrum. My kids love them because they have lots of catchy songs. But, one thing that is really neat, is that they give kids tools to deal with stressful situations. Like, in the “Let’s Go” dvd, she tells kids to put their hand up and say “break” if things become too much when they’re at playground or birthday party.

We’re surviving. Today was a very survival based day. It snowed her this morning. While it warmed up and melted this afternoon, we stayed in, thinking of mud. Two kids, three dogs and one adult in a house all day is not fun. Even if we just go to the grocery store, the whole day is a broken up a bit more.

Lena’s latest thing is crying in um… odd situations? Today, I was cleaning across the hall while she was playing in their room. I went over and she had a bunch of toys out that she was not playing with, so I asked her to pick them up. She did and I told her she could get out one toy. Cue the tears. Another common time is a few minutes after I get her out of bed, even if she was already awake when I go get her. I’ll go through my routine of asking Ilya about his diaper and if his bed is wet and she will just burst into tears. Or, we’ll be walking downstairs and I’ll ask her if she needs to go potty and there are the tears. These random tears have replaced her anger and screaming, though, so I am okay with them.

I would say that Ilya, lately, has been warming up and getting comfortable. Both good and bad. The bad is that he is a bit more mischievous and sneaky about it. He knows to do something when we’re not in the room and he knows to pay attention to when we’re coming back. The good is that he just seems more settled… we were commenting that it’s been awhile since he cried. He is very capable of communicating with us and while he is a bit demanding (literally), he no longer turns on the waterworks when we turn him down. Language is his new medium and if he does not get what he want, he may continue demanding it. Today, he was playing with Play-doh and he was saying “SIT, PAPA! SIT, PAPA!” Aaron was walking around the room, cleaning things up a bit. I told him to ask, “Papa, will you sit with me, please?” That got the response he wanted. I am working on teaching him gentler language to get what he wants. I know it sounds a bit silly for a kid who is just learning English to be asked to say those sorts of things, but it helps give us a bit more control over the situation and it is helping him learn. One of the most fascinating things about Ilya is that he is way more likely to use a word or phrase he has heard once incorrectly (but in a somewhat similar situation, like calling a truck a tractor), than to not use it at all. We find ourselves telling him a lot, “No, that’s a truck. This is a tractor. That’s a swing; this is a slide.”

Everyday Life

A Day at the Lake

March 5, 2011 Molly 6 Comments

Aaron has been working some really long hours lately. REALLY long hours. So, it’s just the 3 of us most of the time. I’ll admit… I am totally exhausted with all that I have to do and I have a huge respect for single parents and especially my friends with a deployed spouse. I think the most exhausting is when someone is up in the middle of the night screaming… which had been pretty few and far between until the last couple of weeks. Now it is a few times a week. This morning, it was both kids, screaming. This is a good opportunity to comfort them and cuddle, but wow, it is exhausting.

We got a nice day a few days ago, so we took a trip to the lake to get out of the house. Now it’s back to the cold and I am totally missing that 60 degree weather.

I packed sandwiches… pulled chicken sandwiches, leftovers from dinner a few days ago.

Ilya wore a lot of his sandwich.

Lena had a kind of awkward relationship with her sandwich…

The dogs came too. This sums up their personalities… Josie, longing to be running around. Nina, high on life. And Cache, angry that he’s not getting a belly rub and eating cookies.

She was full of funny faces today!

And cute ones.

A boat went by on the lake and he absolutely freaked out. Near tears freak out. I told him it was okay, just wave at the people in the boat and he calmed down once it left. And then, of course, he could not stop talking about the “buy-oot”.

This is a classic Ilya conversation. His favorite game is “Where’s Papa/Mama/Ilya/Lena?”

Someone(THANK YOU!) sent us a video called “Bounce”. There are a bunch of songs meant to help children, specifically autistic children, know what to say. “Give me”, “Help me” “Hello” “Goodbye” “I need” “Let’s go” and my kid’s favorite “I want”. Ilya sings the whole thing. Lena just sings “I want an apple please”.

(I know the pictures aren’t showing up… sorry! I’ve contacted Flickr twice now and they’ve escalated the problem and I should have an answer in a few days. In the meantime, you can click on them if you want to see them.)