Tag Archives: Lena

Overwhelmed

December 25, 2010 Molly 6 Comments

I was overwhelmed the second we stepped off the plane in Washington D.C. So glad to be off the long flight and so glad to be back in the U.S.

….the second that someone started singing “The Christmas Song” (“Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”) on the PA system in Dulles.

…when we pulled into our driveway and even more so when we saw a package under the mat. A package from a dear friend who lives far away.

…when I stepped into our kitchen, food covering the countertops. Fridge stuffed full. Packages all over the kitchen table.

…when I went into the dining room and saw a beautiful table cloth, big enough for our huge table, two sweet scrapbooks, more cards and candy.

…when I went into the living room and saw the beautiful tree, and all of the other awesome decorations. Saw presents under the tree, ready for tomorrow.

…when I stepped into the bathroom, needing to give Lena a bath that very minute, not even thinking about where I had packed the shampoo. Set her into the tub, look down and there is a basket of bath goodies, including shampoo. And lotion, another thing that I had been needing for them.

I am so overwhelmed that I haven’t even gone upstairs yet to see my dogs, knowing that seeing them (and whatever surprises lie upstairs) will put me over the edge.

I have always loved Christmas, found it magical. I think this is even the first Christmas I haven’t been at my parents house, with my sisters and all. It is sad to not be there with them… I miss them a lot. But I am very grateful to be here in this moment, surrounded by so many wonderful people and spending it with Aaron, Ilya and Lena.

First Adoption

Last Day Here

December 23, 2010 Molly 7 Comments

Our flight will hopefully be taking off in 5 hours. I cannot wait. Well, actually, I am not looking forward to the whole flying with kids thing, but I cannot wait to be home. About 26 more hours and we will be home. Home the place with all the foods I love, medicines in abundance, a washer and a dryer, a big bed, and of course, my dogs. Well, two of the three. The third is still off having special adventures with Amy, Milo and co.

We made the kids take a nap today. Neither of them wanted to, but Lena has not thrown a single tantrum since. Ilya has actually been worse. So, Lena not throwing a tantrum sounds great, right? Well, I’d really like it if she slept tonight. 9, 10, 11, 12, 1… still waiting.

We also discovered something else which makes Lena happy, quiet and well behaved… videos of babies. I had the idea because she gets so excited when she seems my sister and her baby on Skype. Yesterday, she was being bad, so my sister showed her my nephew and she was just mesmerized. Well, they both loved the videos of babies laughing, but Lena especially can’t get enough. It’s pretty adorable, she just puts her head on her elbows and smiles. We have had no success with any other kinds of videos, so I am glad this works. We need something which they’ll sit calmly for.

Well, I need to go finish packing. I hope that all of our flights will be on time.

This is the video I wanted to show you yesterday, but had some trouble with…

First Adoption

How Things Are Going

December 22, 2010 Molly 3 Comments

We got all of the embassy stuff straightened out yesterday. Fortunately, an extremely nice and proficient woman works in Aaron’s HR department. She got us taken care of. We also had an American helping us at the embassy. He was nice. Even a bit Mr. Rogers like.

The kids are still hard. Scratch that, Lena is still hard. Ilya has his moments… he talks to us in Russian and we don’t understand. He gets upset over food. He can get really wound up. Yes, he just seems like a 3 year old. He can also be so cute. Like finding a piece of string on the floor and telling us it’s a snake or how good he’s gotten at signing “more please”.

Lena on the other hand is really hard. Incredibly hard and frustrating at times. She has thrown two fits in the last hour. The first because I wouldn’t let her play with dirty tissues and the second because she wanted to drink out of the big water bottle or Ilya’s cup instead of her own– they all just had water in them. We also had a fit today because she wanted to go the bathroom at the same time as Ilya. She will repeat behavior that she knows she should not do and will laugh until she has something taken away from her. I am hoping it is just because she’s 3. I talked to my sister tonight and she was encouraging. I haven’t felt in my right mind lately, so it was good to hear how she’d handle the situation. And that her bio kids act the same way. Lena still is not talking much. I am hoping that this because she was with children even younger than her at the orphanage and she needs to catch up. She has picked up some words and will use them without being prompted. She also seems very comfortable signing with us and will sign sometimes when she is upset too. The signs we’re using are all pretty basic… “more” “please” “potty” “drink” “eat” “sleep” “wait” “no” “stop”. They both have more, eat and please down very well and seem to understand the rest, but will rarely sign them to us.

Ilya drinks A LOT. 1-2 cups of water an hour. I am not sure why this is. He has only had two accidents during the day. The first was when we were walking home a few days ago and could not get him to a bathroom. The second was today, he was upset because we were waiting on dinner and Lena was upset. He cannot make it through the night now, but he has accepted this and will let us put diapers on him now. I am not worried about him making it through the night.

I am really ready for bed. I have not been feeling too great for the last couple of days.

Don’t they make it look like everything is just perfect here?

I had a video of Ilya learning to count in English for you, but it won’t process in Flickr, so you’re just going to have to wait another day.

First Adoption

Not So Good Day

December 20, 2010 Molly 7 Comments

Today was a hard day. Not just as a parent and for the kids, but a hard day for us, just as people, trying to get all of the paperwork to get home.

We had to go to the embassy today. Our cab was supposed to come at 9:30. It pulled up at 9:52. We went downstairs at 9:30, Aaron waited out in the snow while I stood with the two kids in a very dirty staircase. Of course, Lena tripped and fell over into a pile of sludge just as Aaron came to tell us that the cab was there.

The embassy, ugh. I had paperwork to finishing filling out. Blanks that I wasn’t sure how to fill in. Aaron took the kids to play. So, I wrote the same information a dozen more times and gave it all back to her, paid a ridiculous amount of money and then she asked me what proof we had of our healthcare and that it would cover the children’s needs, because of their special needs. First of all, this is not something that we have ever been told we’d need. Not by Reece’s Rainbow, not by the embassy. Why? Because’s it’s absurd… really just discrimination. She gave me a paper, which was clearly written for the embassy staff and clearly not even intended for immigration as an adopted child. She told me proof of sufficient income and showing them our insurance card are not enough. My blood was boiling, but I went to get Aaron and the kids. And we went to the clinic for their medical exams. Uneventful, boring even, but there was another American family there who we talked to for awhile. Such a sweet family, and they have a heart for older boys. The boy they’re adopting is 15! They implied that they too left their hearts in the orphanage, all three of them– mother, father and 10 year old bio son.

We did find out approximately what the kids weigh. They were weighed with all of their winter gear on and Lena was about 25lbs and Ilya about 37lbs. You have to subtract a couple of pounds for the coats, hats, boots, gloves, etc.

I got home and started emailing about our embassy situation. There are some really wonderful, helpful people out there. People with connections who just want to see children come home. I love these people who dedicate lots of time and energy to helping people like us– tired and nervous in a foreign country. It sounds like the embassy fiasco will be taken care of. We did contact our insurance and Aaron’s employer about getting this letter. That will be done. If that won’t do the trick, more strings are being pulled by those lovely people I mentioned above. If you want more details about our embassy situation, if you are a family traveling soon, please contact me privately.

Both of the kids had hard days. I think they were tired. Ilya threw several fits today over weird things, like being asked to sit in his seat during lunch. Lena throws fits over more reasonable things, but she is very difficult to calm down. It seems like she needs to cry for 20 minutes before she will be okay. It is an encouragement to hear that this is a normal 3 year old thing… fits over nothing. I think I usually think of it as an effect of being in an orphanage because many of the fits are over things that most kids would not care about. Over food and sharing toys, and sometimes just when one of us wants to sit next to them. They think we’ll take their toy away.

Lena’s bedtime is really hard still. She seemed to be getting better the last few days… a little shorter and a little less fighting. Tonight was the worst night. I was actually kind of impressed by how hard she fought it… really, really fought it. We started signing with them today and what she always does is tries to get out of bed, and go out to where Aaron and Ilya are. She yells a combination of words, things I don’t understand, but sometimes yells “papa” “mama”. Tonight I signed and said “mama is here”. I am not sure that it helps her now, but I think it will eventually. Lena is definitely picking up the signing too. I am using them as much as I can remember, just so they begin to learn them. She has shown me “please” and “eat” so far. Eat was completely out of the blue. Aaron got oranges out and she wanted another one so she signed “eat” to him!

I have some new videos, but honestly, I am just EXHAUSTED and feeling too lazy to post them.

First Adoption

The Good and the Bad

December 19, 2010 Molly 4 Comments

I’ll start you off with the bad. Both kids had huge meltdowns today. Ilya’s came in the morning. He was in the kitchen with Aaron, he ran into the living room where I was, threw a piece of cardboard and a few papers on the ground and ran back into the kitchen. I went to go get him to pick up the papers and he just started screaming and crying. I think he knew what he was doing was not okay to begin with and I wonder if he was expecting a far worse punishment. His “punishment” was sitting with me until he calmed down. It took awhile. He cried for at least twenty minutes. I think the whole situation over the past two days may have just hit him right then.

Lena’s meltdown came in the evening, walking back from a fun night out. She just started crying and screaming and would not stop. Meredith Cornish tried to comfort her in her sling and gave her some hand warmers. But Lena just cried and cried and cried. She was cold, tired, and had to go to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Ilya kept telling us he had to go to the bathroom and Aaron and I argued over walking or taking a cab. Not our family’s finest moment.

But, the good. Apart from the meltdowns, we had a good day. We decided to go out for lunch, to TGI Friday’s. Not the greatest or cheapest restaurant, but Aaron and I have both been homesick for America food. Taking Ilya and Lena into TGI Fridays was so worth it too. Ilya was so excited about all of the food. It was like a scene out of a movie. I took this video when we were about halfway through the meal. I wish I had taken one when the waitress first brought out all of the food… total awe on Ilya’s face.

After we ate lunch, we took the kids to the underground mall. That was fascinating for them. Of course, they liked the toys the best. Here they are, faces pressed up against the glass.

We still had some time to kill before meeting up with Meredith & co. so we got ice cream. They may have never had ice cream before, especially not chocolate. Oh boy. Another movie moment, this time with both of them. The sweetest part? We just got one cup and they shared it. Ilya would take a few bites, Lena would ask for it, and he’d hand it over. She’d take a couple of bites and hand it right back. I have to say that this surprised me a bit. I expected them to be more possessive of something so yummy, but nope. I love how they enjoy these experiences, but also are so good at sharing and taking care of each other.

We met up with Meredith, her newest daughter Aleksa, and her friend Chris. We walked to see all of the Christmas lights. The kids seemed a bit bored until we got to the huge Christmas tree and tons of characters dressed up. Santa everywhere. Ilya would hardly budge, he just wanted to stare at Santa. We walked along, down to this underground mall to get some dinner for Meredith and co. We were not hungry yet, but Meredith shared some of her fries with the kids. When we walked home was when Lena’s meltdown began.

As I said before, she calmed down once we got home. We skyped with some family. First Aaron’s sister, her husband and sobaka (dog). The kids enjoyed that. And when we were done, we skyped with my family- mom, sister and sister’s kids minus one. That was fun too. The kids seem to have fun with each through skype, feeding each other crackers. Lena loves my sister’s baby, too.

Bedtime with Lena seems to be getting a bit better every night. Tonight she still cried, but she fought me less. She eventually laid down on the pillow with a big smile on her face.

Ilya, wow, he impressed me tonight. We decided to wait to put him to bed until Lena was asleep and the screaming was over. We had the door to the bedroom open, where Lena and I were sitting. Aaron was folding laundry in the bathroom. Without being asked, Ilya picked up all of the toys, the computer, etc. and piled them neatly on the desk in the bedroom. He put the clothes on the bedroom floor in the suitcase. When he was done, he asked me if I wanted him to turn off the light, and I told him yes and thank you. He got a big smile on his face, obviously pleased to know that I was pleased, and shut the door. I have to say, sometimes I am shocked that he is only 3. He has his meltdowns and some bad behavior, but then he does something exceptional like that.

Meredith commented tonight that it is hard to believe they’re just 11 months apart. I would have to agree! Lena is so small. People often refer to her as a baby and she can act like an older baby, crying to get her needs met and mimicking everything that the three of us do. Her behavior all seems normal if I think of her as 18 months old, instead of 3. Ilya on the other hand sometimes acts like a typical 3 year old, but he has moments like the one I described above, behavior which seem to be beyond his age. He also talks so much, and is happy to teach me Russian. We have a book with mostly just pictures and I will point to a photo and he will tell me what it is, I’ll repeat the word back and if I say it right, he’ll say “da” (“yes”) and if I say it wrong, he’ll repeat it again. Today when we were at the mall, someone’s McDonalds bag fell off of their table and he picked it up and handed it back to them, without any kind of request. He seems to have a strong desire to have things orderly and to help others.