Missing

I’ve missed SO many moments with Reed and Lena. So many scary things, when they needed someone to step in and protect them and take care of them. Bronchitis. Chicken Pox. Nightmares. And I’ve missed so many milestones, moments when someone really should have been there with a camera. First word. First steps. First birthday. Things we can never get back, no money can buy those moments back.

Tonight, I poured over every detail I have about Baby A, trying to make him feel closer and not so far way. But, then I read “holds head up at 2 months, roll at 3 months, crawl at 6 months…” and all I could think about was each milestone we miss as time grows on and on. He’s probably walking well now. He probably has lots of new words. How many teeth does he have now?

For better and for worse, I’ve kissed him and held him in my lap. He’s real to me. There is a baby boy 5000 miles away. Learning new things every day. Growing up. And we, the family who loves him, we’re here. We’re missing moments.

2012-04-10 02.40.15

3 thoughts on “Missing”

  1. Oh Molly, I don’t know why God has chosen this path for you. I can feel your pain emanating from the computer screen as I catch up on your last several posts. All I can do is pray and I will continue to do that for you! Hugs to you and your family (including Baby A!).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s