I was just googling a celebrity– don’t remind me of all of the things that I REALLY need to be doing with my time. I saw that this celebrity has two siblings and on her wikipedia page, it listed them as her “separately-adopted siblings.” I’ve never heard it worded that way before, but I figured out what it meant… two siblings who are both adopted but not biologically related.
Next link I clicked was a page with a Q&A about this celeb. “Are so&so real brother and sister?” That question breaks my heart. “No” was the answer. Heart break. Because we are familiar with this question.
I know people say that there are no stupid questions, but this is one. Especially asked in front of my kids. We don’t usually get it worded this way. But, all the time, we get asked, “Are they brother and sister?” My answer depends on how interested I am in the person asking and my own mood. “Yes.” OR “They are not biological siblings.” or maybe “They don’t have the same birthparents.” Really none of your business, buddy.
My kids are real siblings. Real, fight over toys just to fight, sit as close to each other as they can to watch a movie siblings. They’re who’s turn is it to pick the story? no, it’s my turn! siblings. They’re it’s okay, I’m here, hold my hand siblings. They’re through the fire and out the other side siblings. Biology has nothing to do with it.
My kids are very young, but their bond is deep. When they left the orphanage, the one thing that they got to take was each other. Not a single physical object or piece of clothing, not their language, or their culture. Just each other. Wouldn’t you love and cling to that person dearly?
So, yes, if you are still asking, they’re real siblings.
Edited to add: I had someone ask me this question literally hours after I wrote this post, in those exact words that I mentioned above (are they brother and sister?). Just to be clear, I don’t think this question is rude in certain contexts, including the context that this person asked me in. Friend to friend, talking about the adoption process– it’s appropriate, although better language is “are they biological siblings?”. However, this is rude if you just met me AND/OR in front of my children. They ARE old/smart/fluent enough to understand those words.